More Hummer Fun

Entertaining article in the Globe and Mail about the abuse Hummer owners have come to suffer at the hands of people like myself who find them horrible and insulting to the idea of moving humans around. Mostly the tone is neutral bordering on defensive, it’s fun to hear people trying to justify their ridiculous purchases to themselves. Best quote hands down (though I can’t believe they printed this in the paper, isn’t it a legally actionable threat?):

“A hippie guy and girl were crossing the street in front of my vehicle when the guy pulled down his pants and mooned me in the middle of the street,” says Mr. DeRisio, who ignored the young man until he doffed his trousers once more.

“The second time I slammed the gas pedal down and chased him down the sidewalk with my truck,” Mr. DeRisio says.

“He ran so fast it was like the doors just opened at a Grateful Dead concert and he had general admission seats. I slowed down and let him catch his breath, and rolled down the window and explained to him the next time he did something like that he would be eating granola bars through a straw.”

Link to the article.

Also, on the subject of the Cadillac Escalade and the Ford Expedition, SUV/Trucks which apparently have worse mileage than the Hummer: If you are driving them just to look badass, you are an asshole. Anyone driving a car that gets sub-optimum mileage in general, or that is not compact in the city, is an asshole. At least the Escalade and Expedition have somewhat useful shapes/layouts, so that contractors, technicians and DIYers can use them to lug big messy things around without buying a giant truck (which is obviously worse if you just needed a small truck). A hummer is not useful for anything except combat situations and swamps, and last time I checked, the gang violence at the St-Laurent club scene isn’t that bad.

(unrelated pathetic image found here, article courtesy of dad)